Moving On

It’s time to start a new chapter. One that leaves behind past lives, past longings, and past loves. Once upon a time, it was okay to be in love with that soldier you could never have. You could dream for days and nights of the moment he would step into your sight at the airport – the sprint to greet him, jumping into his arms, the happy tears you would cry as your family reunited. There are times we need to grow, and in order to grow, sometimes, it seems, we must let go. There is something about then future that is terrifying – a fear of the unknown. When we are uncertain of the road ahead, we often take comfort in what we know. Perhaps conversations with old friends, love that once blossomed, or even the familiar smell of home. Whatever it may be, we lose our future to the past. We sacrifice for all we cannot have and long for what is behind us.

We long again for our childhood fantasies, our dreams of the perfect world. We hope for the make believe stories from our games of “house” as we so loved to call it. The dream to be an actress (with a loving and attractive husband, a son and twins – a boy and a girl, and a beautiful mansion home with a red door, wrap around porch and a swing under the willow tree out back). We find comfort in the thought of our mothers cooking dinner as we tried and tried (to no avail) to put off our ABC’s and 123’s as long as possible. To this day, I look to my parents for every answer, when, in reality, they can’t make my life decisions for me. Slowly, I am beginning to understand that as an adult, I must come to make my own decisions about where my life will go and the means I will achieve it by.

We reach for the old friendships. All through high school we complained. “Suzie Q. is so popular, I’ll never be her friend…blah blah blah…Jane Doe is my BFF Forever!” And we don’t stop! We find out that Suzie Q. has gone on to work at McDonald’s on the weekends (nothing to criticize that life, but you had always imagined her as the hoity toity business woman). Jane has finally confessed that she spilled all of your secrets and sabotaged your chances at XYZ University. AND STILL we long for Suzie’s approval; we boast about our “best friends” like Jane – when in reality, these people are toxic! We never leave high school. We still wish Brad had noticed that quirky girl in the stands at every football game, that when he let you borrow his pencil, he was really giving you his heart.

WHY must we long for these things that bring us nothing? They don’t just leave us grasping at straws in life, they keep us running to them – but with every step forward, you find yourself two steps farther back than you were before. We hold onto the good times and we hold onto the bad times. When James broke your heart but you still wait for that letter in the mail…every day.

We need to reach beyond what we know. We need to GROW. We need to move past the known and work our way into uncharted territories. The perfect life on the big screen with the house and the kids, maybe you can have it, but it comes with a price. Maybe you realize your dream wasn't practical. Set out for a new goal. “You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis. So dream a new dream! Think about what you want NOW and chase after that NOW. Don’t go racing into the past, trying to pull memories from thin air and make them real. Make a new friend, one that is the complete opposite of Jane. You take on all that you thought Suzie would accomplish but never did!

Now I am not saying to forget about the past; the past makes you who you are, and without any single one experience, you could have a completely different outlook on life. Congratulate those you love (and those you hate) for their successes, I’m sure you’d appreciate the same from them. Learn from the past and let it live in the past. Move on now. Take the world by storm.